14 December 2008

I hope my death comes with this absolute feeling of helplessness.

This is something I thought the other day while commuting my 40 miles to work on a gloomy day in my gloomy car and luckily the HOV lane was open and as I entered it I glanced at what is the exit ramp for when the HOV lane travels westbound and not eastbound and imagined a car bursting into the HOV lane and pushing my car over the wall and that I would hope that I would have a feeling of absolute helplessness as time would slow down in order for me to truly appreciate the moment and the consequence like the time I almost got my ass kicked by the bully of whichever grade it was while I was in middle school and in the then present I laughed, because it was one of those days when I wanted nothing but solitude, only I had to man my position at my workplace and I supposed that in oblivion I would find solitude, but it was just a thought, perhaps in too much simple, yet straightforward detail, and I kept driving without incident on this gloomy day that could have been any weekday or perhaps even a weekend day.

And I laughed.

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