Best. Morning. Ever.

Love these lines:He's like the mother's breast I c...

2008-12-11T21:25:00.000-05:00

Love these lines:

He's like the mother's breast I could never suckle at as a child, so now I insert the feeding tube from his braintips (his brains likely number at least ten and are located in his fingertips) into my stomach directly. Last night I went to bed in hunger. Tonight I sleep a nirvanic sleep like all his other bastard cyber-children.

I love to read your tale of voting. Mine was like...

2008-11-16T15:49:00.000-05:00

I love to read your tale of voting. Mine was like this: we filled out our absentee ballots at home the morning of the election and walked across the street to the church to drop them off in a box and get our stickers. We had to wait zero minutes. We observed no funny business and had no conversations. I like the way you talk to people.

Labor Day is, like its other institutionalized hol...

2008-09-02T01:26:00.000-04:00

Labor Day is, like its other institutionalized holiday brethren, a fucking joke. What hourly waged employee in his right mind wants his hours cut? Who really wants to share a vacation day with everyone else?

I also like feeling at one with inanimate objects....

2008-08-28T23:51:00.000-04:00

I also like feeling at one with inanimate objects. That used to happen a lot when I played bassoon.

Wait until all of the aches and pains start.

2008-08-23T18:43:00.000-04:00

Wait until all of the aches and pains start.

best.line.ever. in the best.morning.ever. must be...

2008-07-27T20:41:00.000-04:00

best.line.ever. in the best.morning.ever. must be this:

"This is where I cultivate my sardonic future-cult followed writer personality as seen on the internet."

as if you aren't a walking cult of personality in all your other net-carnations...

WONDERFUL! - i'm stoked you're doing this. i can't wait to read the next one... and yes, i mean that sincerely. a blog is not the place to be smarmy - well, at least not this one...